It's been a week and a day since I left, and I am already missing it more than I ever thought possible. Not that I didn't love seeing all of my amazing friends again, or my family -- I really did -- but I'm at the point where I just want to take you all back overseas with me, so we can keep living happily in England.
I think this homesickness came up because of the weather. Today was sunny, with periods of cloudiness, driving rain, and maybe even a little hail. That just screams 'London weather' to me, with a capital L. I spent days and weeks watching those little spurts of weather occur, right outside our flat window. It's why I carry an umbrella with me constantly now. It's why I always have my coat and hat at the ready -- because you never can be too careful.
The homesickness is driving me crazy, though. I mean, it's not as if I'm unhappy being back in NC -- it's lovely -- but I miss the city. It's alive in a way that seemed impossible on first glance. I miss being less than five minutes away from an adventure. I miss walking everywhere, to theatres and parks and museums. There's a hustle to cities, especially London, that I find really comforting nowadays. Without warning, that atmosphere is now completely absent from my life. For example, today I drove to Boone, thinking that I could spend two easy hours in town before I went to work - by hanging out at the local park, or wandering around the mall. Thirty minutes later, most of which was spent reading in my car in the pouring rain, I couldn't stand it -- I actually drove back to my house.
This whole thing is slightly freaking me out. What I want is something which doesn't exist for me here. I can drink tea until my brain swims in it, but today it feels like London, and all my time there, is slipping through my fingers. It feels as if I'm forgetting something which has been omnipresent in my life for nearly four months. I don't like that feeling.
Anyway. I'm sure you don't want to read my whinging, as it's pretty paltry stuff. But if I seem a little distant or snappy (for those of you who encounter me in RL), this is probably the reason. Sigh.