LMAO, the whole bit had me in stitches, but I particularly enjoyed #13:

"...My daughter Susanna loues to remind me: ~Jvliet was only thirteen! And I remind her that i) she was Italian, an impulsive race ii), she was actually played by a middle-aged Eunuch named Ned, and iii) she died. That always shvts her right vp."

I'm glad you were as amused as I was!