on friendship
Jun. 24th, 2008 11:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wildcard_47I've been in a fairly thoughtful mood this week. Most of it derives from the conclusion of my London experience, and realizing how that changed me in some tiny, nuanced ways, as well as in much larger ones. A tiny bit of it is caused by the fact that my 20th birthday is coming up, and we all know how birthdays can make a person think hard and well about their lives. However, seeing some of my Boone friends (or not seeing them, to be more accurate) has started to make me think about the ways that friendships evolve and change throughout their course.
Over my lifetime, I've had a few good, close, proper friends -- the ones who know every little thing about me, no matter how insignificant. They fielded four-hour phone calls (from a bedroom floor or junk-filled closet) about nothing and everything, got me through the hell of middle school and angst therein. They supported me, grew with me, or helped me discover something I didn't recognize in myself. For instance, I never would have thought of becoming a writer (or of writing for fun) had it not been for one of my best friends in middle school. Some of them, like that aforementioned girl, have come and gone already. Others, like my high school friends, were with me during the whirlwind of change that was freshman year, or senior year; they stood by me and helped me understand my place in their lives and in my own specific world. Now that we're entering the final two years of college, I can plainly see how we are slowly beginning to drift into different lives and interests.
I guess, for me, the trouble is not in realizing that we are changing and adapting, but in realizing that these processes are like a cycle. I'll be repeating and going through these processes no matter where I am or who I meet. Because I am the type of person who thinks of the future often, I worry about investing time and love with someone who might not be around until I'm 64, 84 -- what have you.
One of my close friends is doing mission work in Prague over the summer, and I'm keeping up with her blog while she's away. She posted a day or two ago about meeting people in one of the local hostels and making conversation with the travelers who come in and out. She had this to say about friendship and its purpose in our lives; I think it's probably one of the wisest and most honest statements that could be made about it. I was absolutely blown away.
..I'll always remember what my friend Paul told me: that every friendship, every opportunity to show love, every opportunity to learn something new from someone else is important, no matter how brief and temporary. What a shame it would be to never start a conversation with someone you might only see once, simply because you knew there could be no lasting friendship to come out of it. What a shame to never invest in a person's life, just because that friendship might only last a couple of hours, a couple of weeks, a couple of months, a couple of years. What a shame to never care deeply because you are afraid of the pain of letting go. All things go, all things die, new things are born in the shadow of what has passed away- this is the consistent ebb and flow of joy and sorrow in all of nature. In the grand scheme of eternity, I am a strand that is woven into the tapestry of someone else's life, and my brief engagement in their life experience can be a small, integral part of a larger picture I'll never see here. Every person is valuable, every person is made in the image of an incredible God, every person reveals to me a different facet of His glory....and I never want to miss that in anyone.
So, I'm still ruminating over all of the possibilities and meanings that come out of that assumption. Which makes me both ponderous and all sorts of idiotic because then I start thinking about every decision and reaction and overanalyzing everything. Sigh. It led to a two-hour phone call with an old friend and me wondering what I'm going to do with my life, again.
Anyway. I felt like sharing my friend's quote with everyone, because it surely made me think. It's good, no?
Over my lifetime, I've had a few good, close, proper friends -- the ones who know every little thing about me, no matter how insignificant. They fielded four-hour phone calls (from a bedroom floor or junk-filled closet) about nothing and everything, got me through the hell of middle school and angst therein. They supported me, grew with me, or helped me discover something I didn't recognize in myself. For instance, I never would have thought of becoming a writer (or of writing for fun) had it not been for one of my best friends in middle school. Some of them, like that aforementioned girl, have come and gone already. Others, like my high school friends, were with me during the whirlwind of change that was freshman year, or senior year; they stood by me and helped me understand my place in their lives and in my own specific world. Now that we're entering the final two years of college, I can plainly see how we are slowly beginning to drift into different lives and interests.
I guess, for me, the trouble is not in realizing that we are changing and adapting, but in realizing that these processes are like a cycle. I'll be repeating and going through these processes no matter where I am or who I meet. Because I am the type of person who thinks of the future often, I worry about investing time and love with someone who might not be around until I'm 64, 84 -- what have you.
One of my close friends is doing mission work in Prague over the summer, and I'm keeping up with her blog while she's away. She posted a day or two ago about meeting people in one of the local hostels and making conversation with the travelers who come in and out. She had this to say about friendship and its purpose in our lives; I think it's probably one of the wisest and most honest statements that could be made about it. I was absolutely blown away.
..I'll always remember what my friend Paul told me: that every friendship, every opportunity to show love, every opportunity to learn something new from someone else is important, no matter how brief and temporary. What a shame it would be to never start a conversation with someone you might only see once, simply because you knew there could be no lasting friendship to come out of it. What a shame to never invest in a person's life, just because that friendship might only last a couple of hours, a couple of weeks, a couple of months, a couple of years. What a shame to never care deeply because you are afraid of the pain of letting go. All things go, all things die, new things are born in the shadow of what has passed away- this is the consistent ebb and flow of joy and sorrow in all of nature. In the grand scheme of eternity, I am a strand that is woven into the tapestry of someone else's life, and my brief engagement in their life experience can be a small, integral part of a larger picture I'll never see here. Every person is valuable, every person is made in the image of an incredible God, every person reveals to me a different facet of His glory....and I never want to miss that in anyone.
So, I'm still ruminating over all of the possibilities and meanings that come out of that assumption. Which makes me both ponderous and all sorts of idiotic because then I start thinking about every decision and reaction and overanalyzing everything. Sigh. It led to a two-hour phone call with an old friend and me wondering what I'm going to do with my life, again.
Anyway. I felt like sharing my friend's quote with everyone, because it surely made me think. It's good, no?
